It is a highly liberating feeling for the people trying it for the first time. The downside of Towards NLP Meta Program is that it is based on too much positive thinking without any critical thinking like away meta program. Have you met someone who is mostly not clear what they want?
But they are clear about what they do not want? The downside of the Away meta program is, they fail to see any positive in any situation.
They have a problem for every solution and make things difficult for everyone around you. Do you know that your self or you trust the feedback of the others? If you think with an internal frame of reference you are most likely to know by yourself internally. If you think with an external frame of reference you are most likely to depend on external motivation like appreciation from the boss, peers, etc.
If we ask them how would you know, whether you have done a good job? How do you like to do things whether you consider all options every time or you follow standard operating procedures? This person will always look for more possibilities, and opportunities to change even though change is not required.
They are habitually rule-breakers, even though they themselves have set those rules. They want to create procedures and process for everything but hardly follows themselves.
It is difficult for them to work in the routine they continuously seek changes. This person will follow books and rules no matter whatever happens. They do not think about the reason they are following the process but they just follow it anyway. Do you like the similarities or always look for the differences between the things? If you like to see similarities in process, things, or in people you are most like to be operating from the matcher NLP Meta Program.
If you like and appreciate differences you are mostly operating from the mismatcher NLP Meta Program. In this meta program, you can not be at extremes, you must be somewhere in the middle. Where up to a certain point you look for similarities and after that, you also consider the differences.
People who enjoy similarities like routines, following their timetable, and likely to stay in the same job for a longer period of time. They look at things and see what they have in common.
Other people are mis-matchers — difference people. There are two kinds of them. One type looks at the world and sees how things are different … The other kind of mis-matcher sees differences with exceptions. To figure out what consistently convinces someone, you must first find out what sensory building blocks he needs to become convinced, and then you must discover how often he has to receive these stimuli before becoming convinced. You might know some people that are minimalists or you might be a minimalist yourself, and focus on just what you need.
On the other hand, you might be a seeker and always looking to expand your opportunities and possibilities. Some people are motivated primarily by necessity, rather than by what they want. They do something because they must. They go through life taking what comes and what is available. When they need a new job or a new house or a new car or even a new spouse, they go out and accept what is available.
Others are motivated to look for possibilities. Other problems related to the overuse, or context inappropriate use, of an "Away-From" Meta Program include:. The Brighter Side of "Away From". Now, with all of those problems specific to the "Away-From" Meta Program, a person might be tempted to think away-from thinking is "bad", or at least that they should avoid it.
Avoiding away-from thinking is another instance of away-from thinking. But away-from thinking has a great deal of value in certain contexts and for certain purposes. Consider a professional whose job is "quality assurance.
Most products benefit from a thorough and critical review which seeks to find, identify and fix problems before the product goes to market. Another example would be military combat planning which necessarily includes considerable away-from thinking. In "Operation Iraqi Freedom", a combat pilot interviewed on television reported that his first priority during a combat mission was always, "Don't shoot our own guys," so as to avoid any "friendly fire" incidents.
Any task that requires keen critical thinking can also benefit from the appropriate use of away-from thinking. As an overall approach to living a happy, productive life, the adaptation of a default "Toward" Meta Program is highly attractive. By 'default' I mean that in the absence of specifically identified contexts in which away-from thinking is consciously considered advantageous, a "Toward" Meta Program is the predominantly operating unconscious process for perceiving and sorting experience, memory and interpretation.
When clients who have been using away-from thinking as a default for many years switch to toward as their default and "try it on" for a number of weeks, they frequently describe it as if "a huge weight" has been lifted from their shoulders.
The positive, life affirming effects of this level of change are profound. For setting goals and direction, the "Toward" Meta Program is clearly the most appropriate choice. Toward thinking is, in fact, so important to setting effective goals, that one of the primary conditions for "well formed goals" in NLP is that they be stated in positive language.
When a person is sorting for what they positively want, they are enabled the freedom to fully imagine it, design for it, set direction for it, follow through, achieve it, and experience its rewards. The downside of overusing the "Toward" Meta Program, or using it in inappropriate contexts, is that it can lead a person to make decisions which are naive and potentially risky, not perceiving or recognizing pitfalls and obstacles which could prevent a goal from being reached.
An example would be the giddiness of 'blue sky' corporate board retreats where the participants get very creative about the company's future direction, products or organization without fully vetting the ideas with necessary away from critical thinking. In such cases the executives may return to the offices with directives which make little or no business sense and insist that employees execute them.
If employees make rational objections to the new plans, they may be told somewhat ominously that they are not "thinking positive" enough. The "Toward" Meta Program, as used in NLP, is distinguished from simplistic encouragement's to "think positive" by several important factors: it is understood to be desirable only in appropriate contexts, a full ecology and contextualization is elicited before it is adopted, and when it is activated it operates automatically without the need of a person to attempt conscious imposition -- that is, the pattern itself changes, rather than merely one's judgment that a "more positive" outlook should be adopted.
Whatever a person's preference in terms of "Toward or Away-From" Meta Programs for any particular context, the NLP Presupposition that "Choice is better than no choice" applies, and this is true of other Meta Programs, as well. The ability to choose and run a given Meta Program intentionally as most appropriate to the circumstances is a powerful addition to anyone's personal skill set.
In cases where the Meta Program is the only pattern at issue, it can literally make the difference between a happy or miserable experience of life. Self Reference vs. Other Reference. In this Meta Program, a person's attention references either oneself or another. Self Reference is the selection of evidence and criteria based on reference to one's own perceptions, beliefs, values, etc. It is related both to self-confidence, at the healthy end of the spectrum, and sociopathy at the other end.
As an example, if a person using Self Referencing is asked how they know when they've done a good job at work, they might say something like, "I can see when it's good.
Other Reference is the selection of evidence and criteria based on reference to the perceptions, beliefs, values, etc. It is related both to compassion, at the healthy end of the spectrum, and co-dependence at the other end.
For example, if a person using Other Referencing is asked how they know when they've done a good job at work, they might say something like, "I can tell by people's reactions," or, "They'll tell me that it's good. This Meta Program should not be confused with descriptors like "introverted" or "extroverted" which L. Ironically, Self Referencing is more likely to go with extroversion and Other Referencing is more likely to go with introversion. A person who has appropriate choice and flexibility with regard to whether they are self referencing or other referencing in a particular context is likely to have both self confidence and the ability to take into account the feelings and points of view of others.
Other factors are often present when a person self references or other references habitually without a sense of choice. Such factors include self-other confusion, self-concept, and depth of self understanding and awareness. Problems related to the overuse of self or other referencing sometimes self-correct when these other factors are successfully addressed.
Therefore, it's generally more useful to address these issues first i. This Meta Program was identified by L. Michael Hall and Bob Bodenhamer who describe it as follows: "Whether a person first looks at the problems, dangers, threats, difficulties, challenges of a situation or the opportunities, possibilities, wonders, excitements, and thrill determines whether their mind goes first to worst- or best-case scenarios.
Sorting for the best-case scenario orients one in an optimistic, hopeful, goal-oriented, and empowered way. Sorting for the worst-case scenario orients one in a pessimistic, negative, and problem-focused way. Similar to "Toward vs Away-From", this Meta Program is distinguished by its specific reference to the future, the formation of expectations, predictability, control, and beliefs about possibility. While sorting for positive possibilities sounds better than sorting for negative possibilities, both have their usefulness in specific contexts.
Like away from thinking, worst-case thinking can be an important capability if specific worst cases are realistically assessed and can be adequately planned for. In some cases, worst case thinking is like a sort of reverse-optimism. That is, if we know we can handle the worst case, anything better that happens will be "gravy. It's often cited with a certain wry humor, the benefit of which is that a person may plan more precisely to handle contingencies which may obstruct or interrupt the achievement goals.
Frequently, people who sort for the worst case believe they are simply being more realistic than others who sort for the best case. Those who overuse it, without balancing it with its opposite, could be described as looking at the world through rose colored glasses, may naively maintain a "fools rush in" attitude in the face of real danger, or may trust inappropriately those who are not trustworthy.
Having acknowledged the context appropriate value of worst case thinking and the context inappropriate dangers of best case thinking, it's important to note that a great many people suffer on a daily basis in ordinary circumstances from the consistent overuse of worst case thinking applied in their lives transcontextually, as almost a philosophy of life which they generalize to their thinking about their relationships, their jobs, their health, etc.
It bears repeating that choice is better than no choice in regard to Meta Programs. A person's health, happiness and effectiveness are greatly enhanced by the ability to have full access to either Meta Program according to what a person considers appropriate and useful in a given context. Many successful and generally happy people find that a good model for balance between these two Meta Programs is something along the lines of, "Dream and plan for the best, be prepared for the worst.
Big Chunk vs. Little Chunk. In this Meta Program, attention is directed either to the big picture or to details. Big chunk thinking is useful for envisioning, perspective and setting direction. It can "take in" broad patterns and trends and make associations between them for the benefit of the whole. Small chunk thinking is useful for executing on a plan and making progress in manageable steps.
It can be an important part of optimism and a person's perception of having the capability to move toward larger goals. In NLP, the process of taking a thought or perception pattern to bigger chunks is called "chunking up. Problems arise in big chunk thinking when small negative events are overgeneralized, or chunked up, to the point where they are perceived as pervasive or permanent.
Chunking up is part of the process of "depressing" that's "depression" denominalized when it's combined with associated negative experience. It is also involved in "awfulizing" -- taking something relatively benign and interpreting it in more and more "awful" ways. The reason NLP denominalizes "depression" is because NLP views "depressing" as something people do by using a number of different processes.
It's fairly easy to teach someone how to create, for themselves, a really depressed state. Not that you'd want to. But it demonstrates the process theory of "depressing".
Other problems with the overuse of big chunk thinking, include ineffective dreaming -- having lots of big ideas but never doing anything about them -- grandiosity, and passivity. Problems arise in small chunk thinking when context is lost and one can no longer "see the forest for the trees.
This would also be the pattern for "penny wise, pound foolish. Small chunking in combination with "Worst-Case Scenario" can easily map to "anxiety".
Anxiety becomes panic or depression when it chunks up. Some individuals, in fact, run a strategy wherein they first chunk down, sort for small negatives, then chunk up and feel depressed. Most people have a default preference for big or small chunking, and that's part of what makes the world of people an interesting and diverse place.
As with the other Meta Programs, the desirability of using one or the other depends on the context. In general, people who use one form of chunking a lot will be less skilled in the use of the other -- just as any skill increases with use.
So practicing the weaker skill will be more effort at first, then less effort over time, and will create more balanced capabilities over time.
An appropriate balance and the ability to choose which Meta Programs to use in different contexts represent powerful tools for health, success and happiness. Association vs. Association and disassociation are fundamentally perceptual positions.
See Perceptual Positions However, when used programmatically for perception, thinking and feeling, they may be usefully described as Meta Programs. People generally have a default preference for associating or disassociating, as well as context dependent preferences. Like other skills, the ones we use most often are the strongest. Association is useful for getting "into" experiences fully, feeling the feelings, seeing the sights, hearing the sounds, etc.
It is important both for relationships and internal congruity. Disassociation is useful for such things as perspective, meditation, pain management, and behaving effectively in certain kinds of difficult or dangerous situations. In a sense, it can be said that a person is always associated into one perceptual position or another. Disassociation would be, then, being associated into a 3rd or 4th perceptual position -- that of "standing off from" or "out of" an experience as an observer.
Problems arise in the overuse of association when a person gets "stuck" in a perceptual position which is unpleasant, painful, inappropriate, confused, or in some other way negative. People with strong skills in associating, but relatively weak skills in disassociating, may be more likely to use external substances, ritualized behaviors or excessive means to help them disassociate from their experience -- rather than internal skills in moving between perceptual positions.
As with any skill, learning a brand new one often involves effort and some level of discomfort or frustration before the skill gets to the point of easy competence. Whether a person is more adept at associating or disassociating, learning the other skill may feel unfamiliar or awkward at first precisely because moving between perceptual positions is not something most of us were taught at an earlier age at home or in school.
Problems which arise in the overuse of disassociation may include lack of empathy, "inability" to connect well in relationships, limited awareness of one's own emotions, or a loss of joy and passion for life. In the extreme, disassociation is a feature of sociopathy.
The ability to move with intention between association and disassociation is sometimes described as "a doorway" to a world of rich learnings and new capabilities. Match vs. Attention is focused on what is the same or what is different. Whether a person notices commonality, like-ness and similarities or differences, dislikes and contrasts depends upon this Meta Program. Matching is important for rapport and relationship building, since connecting with someone, or meeting them in their world view in order to better communicate, involves perceiving and communicating in 'like' ways.
The concept of 'like', or match, is built into our language even to the point where, if we want to express an affinity we have with another person, we say we 'like' them.
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